LOVE IN DAMASCUS XV

 

May, 2009

Two days later, I went back to that garden and I met that old man. He had scared me at first when he was pointing a revolver at me. I was very scared at first but I didn't run, I knew he won't shoot me at least I was not a thief of something.

'How would an old man with just twelve teeth scare me?' I thought and stood still where I was. I didn't argue with him, I made him perform all his drama and screamed his hell out before I started talking. When he had calm down, he told me to have a sit which I did reluctantly. My eye never left the sight of the revolver even as I sat.

"So what did you want?" He said with a shaky voice

"Nothing much,Pa" I said ready to go straight into the point "I want to lease.... Or probably rent your garden for just an hour" I continued and I could see his reaction. It was like 'who the hell are you to walk into my compound and lease my garden'.

"I find your garden so attractive, it is the perfect spot I needed for what I want to do" I said sharply

"And what is that?" He looked at me sternly ready to get more information. I hesitated for a bit, and thought of it again. Telling the old man what I need his garden for won't change anything.

"Well, I have a girl I like so much and I am looking for a perfect place to make my confession to her, a place to open up my heart to her" I opened up but there was silence for a while.

The old man broke the silence with an heavy guffaw, a boisterous laughter that really got on my nerve. I suddenly joined him and I also began to laugh, I never knew what was funny because what I said wasn't funny but I just joined him In laughing.

"Love bird" he announced "you are in love?"

Was I really in love? I really don't know cause I feel am madly in love, so sick in love, crazy in love. I wasn't just in love, guess am dying in love.

"Yes, am in love" I said after a deep thought and the old man clapped. He lowered his glasses to look straight into my eye.

"I have once falling in love. My adventure of love began with Caroline." He said and that name rang a bell in my head. The mechanic had mentioned it. "...We started dating in my second year at the university" he continued his touching story, it was a sad one, a tragedy. I sat down gently listening to the story but never for once have I taken my eyes away from the revolver. The sad story suddenly felt my happy heart with sadness. He admitted he had made a lot of mistakes even the ones that cost him the life of his children. He was dying of loneliness, he had no one to talk to.

".....Caroline fell sick after our kids passed away. She was never the same again after that awful incident....." He said with tears in his eyes

I felt pity for him, I could feel his pain. He was all alone in this world, no one to talk to , no family to chat with. It was a disaster. After a long chat, he agreed to my request and he asked me when I was coming with the girl.

"In two days time" I said

I left his house that day in the evening. I had gone home straight. I had wanted to visit Sasha at home but I was so tired after that day adventure. So when I got home, I turned on my television and went straight to bed. I was in the middle of my memory lane when I heard pounding on my door. I began so angry and thought it was Danny.

"Joseph" the voice called from the other side and immediately I jumped up at that familiar voice. My eyes were still dazzled but i didn't care. I reached for the door with seconds and opened it.

"I thought you didn't want a visitor" she said

"Even if I don't want a visitor, that doesn't affect you" I said with a smile and she smiled back "you are different" I said instantly.

She stood still for some seconds, guess she didn't see that coming. There was silence for some seconds before she snapped back to her normal self.

"Won't you welcome me in? Or is your girlfriend around?" She said jokingly but I took it serious.

"I have no girlfriend" I said sharply with a frown

My head began to burn. 'How could she have thought I had a girlfriend' I thought.

I know she could see rage in my eyes and I wasn't ready to hide it.

"I was only joking" she said with an energetic smile showing her dimples. "You don't have to take it personal. And beside you are not to young to have one"

That is so true, I wasn't too young to have one and I became so ashamed of myself. I wanted her to see me has a single guy with no girlfriend. 

"I am sorry" I said "do come in"

She entered my apartment and sat on the chair adjacent to my bed.

"What should I get you?"

"Everything you have at home" she said jokingly. She stood up and went to my drawer. She picked my photo album and wanted to go through it.

"Please don't check that" I ran from the kitchen grabbing it from her

"is anything so special in that album? " she asked

Well, I don't know if it was something special or not but to me it is. I had taken her picture secretly and had printed it out. So I don't want her to see the picture,she might be angry.

"Something special is hidden there" I said

"The pictures of your girlfriend?" She said and I became furious "let me see how beautiful she is"

I became mad and dropped the album. She knew how to play with ones mind and I respected her for it. So she began to go through the album, she laughed at the funny ones. I sat still on my bed still fuming but I laughed when she laughed, I don't know why but I just did.

Suddenly, her smile fades, her eye brow squeeze. I already knew she has seen the in seen, something I was trying to hide from her. I began to think of an explanation to give her but nothing came. She turned the album this the next page ignoring that and yet again she saw another one. I could feel she had become uncomfortable. She turned and turned and turned again, it was the same. So looked at me sharply, not smiling but frowning and her angelic face turned into a demonic one.

"Where and how did you get my pictures?" The voice came like a thunder and I won't lie, I was scared.

"Who would have an angel picture in his album" I said jokingly, thinking I could ease her mind

"I ain't joking" the voice came so defiant "where did you get my pictures? Cause I can't remember taken those"

I now understood it wasn't a joke, she was being serious, Damn serious!. I looked straight into her eyes but I did not understand what was in it. I could see fear in her eyes but I don't know why she was scared, there was nothing to be afraid of. So I took a step forward but she withdraw. I took another one forward and I tried to hold her hand but she pushed me back.

"Don't come any closer...... Don't come near me" she screamed

I sat on my bed looking at her. Her hand was trembling and I don't know why. I don't know why she had reacted like this. She picked the album again and check those pictures.

"I didn't took a picture like this"

Well, I wasn't ready to push things anymore. Guess it was time to speak, time to open up, time to tell her I had being trailing her for sometime before we met that day in the rain, time to tell her what actually happened to the brainies and I. Guess its time to tell her everything, everything she needs to know.

"It all started a year ago when I saw you with the brainies" I began but she cut me off.

"So you knew the brainies before I introduced them to you?"

"Yes, we created the group together. I was one of the brainies in my first year before I diverted"

"You were also one of the brainies?" She asked surprisingly and I nodded.

"I left them in my second year. So when I saw you with them, it made me want to know more about you and in that process, I began to like you" I said and she gave me a look I seriously couldn't explain but I hadn't planned on saying that, I had reserved it all for the Trevor's garden but I let her know how I felt now, mistakenly. 

"....about those pictures in my album, I took them secretly. I took them so that your face would be the last I will see before going to bed, I took them because I want to look at your beautiful face anytime am down, I took it........" She cut me off.

"That is enough" she screamed. She became so shocked like she had never expected it. It seems she had only wanted us to be just friends but I was looking for something more than that, I wanted more. I wanted her to be the last girl I will see before going to bed and first to see when I wake but she hadn't wanted that. She couldn't meet my gaze any more, its like have become more scary. So I dashed beside her, holding her hand and I felt stiffness in her body like she doesn't need me right now, like am the last person she needs to be the in contact with.

"Sasha, I want to be more than your friend" I said not minding if it was the right time or not. "I want to be someone close to your heart, I love you Sasha" I said finally letting the cat out, I could wait anymore, I couldn't wait for two more days. So I said it, I told her I loved her.

And instantly, she jerked away from me and aimed for the door but I jumped and gripped her. I didn't want her to leave in such manner, she hadn't said a word and I regretted I had confessed my feelings at such crucial time.

"Don't walk way from me, Sasha" I said and she stopped in front of the door. So I tried turning her face towards me but to my surprise, it was wet.

"Why are you crying?" I asked but there was no reply "Sasha, talk to me. I am madly in love with you"

There was silence for a while, I became so tired of everything. She hadn't said a word and tears kept rolling down her cheek.

"Joseph, let go off my hand" she finally muttered amidst sobs and I let go obediently.

She opened the door and ran out of my apartment. I became so sad and my heart began to pound in fear. I had not planned for such an evening, it has been a wonderful day but it has all been ruined now. I don't know what would become of my fate. I don't know whether I was still her friend or maybe the other way round but I just don't want to think of it. I don't just want to think of her hating me, it would be a disaster.

Later that night, I called her so many times but she didn't pick up. I had expected such, I knew she won't pick my call but I just kept trying. I wanted to go to her house that night to apologize but I couldn't bring myself to face her.

I didn't know exactly what was making her angry, was it the fact I took her picture secretly? Or because I had confessed my feelings? Or because I had pretended not know the brainies?. Whichever one, I am so sorry, so sorry about everything but how could I tell her this, I don't know how to face her.

I couldn't sleep that night, I had a very strong feeling that something bad was about to happen. I rolled and rolled before sleep took over me and I had a nightmare, a terrible one. It's like I had lost my Messiah.